By Karen Lange
What do you do now as a homeschool family that will matter in ten years?
Everything. Right? Maybe. Or maybe not.
If not, then how do we know what’s important? So much seems necessary and it’s easy to become overwhelmed with curriculum and programs, methods and styles, testing, co-ops, field trips and extracurricular stuff. It’s enough to make a homeschool parent run for the hills.
Rather than heading for those hills (unless you’re vacationing, of course), try looking at things from a different angle. Gain perspective by stepping back and looking at the big picture.
Case in point, about ten years ago, I tutored a young homeschooled teen who needed help with reading and writing. His mom fretted greatly over his challenges. As she and I reviewed his work one day, it occurred to me that none of this would matter in ten years. He was a bright student, I told her, making slow but steady progress, and in a decade, these hurdles would be but a blip on the radar screen. Someday this would all be a memory.
This theme stuck with me, and I thought about what it means in relation to raising and educating children.
What will matter in ten years? Here are my top four items:
- Time
- Relationships
- Values
- Skills
These ideas shaped our philosophy and methods. As my kids grew, goals and priorities refined and changed as I grasped the bigger picture – raising them to be responsible, functioning members of society.
Time, though it crawls when the kids are sick in the middle of the night, it flies otherwise. One minute you’re cradling them in your arms, the next, you’re teaching them to drive. There’s no substitute for quality time, so how can we maximize the right kind of togetherness?
Make it happen. Although valuable conversation can come in short spurts, we need focused, quality stretches, too. Assess your schedule regularly. Eliminate clutter. Life is precious and fleeting. Once time has passed, you can’t rewind and get it back. Savor it now.
Relationships are built on quality time together. The bond between a parent and child grows naturally through relaxed interaction. Just be there – to love, guide, play, and listen. Catherine Wallace lent wise advice when she said,
“Listen earnestly to anything your children want to tell you no matter what. If you don’t listen eagerly to the little stuff when they are little, they won’t tell you the big stuff when they are big, because to them all of it has always been big stuff. “
Sure, it’s a tricky balance to juggle everything. But your kids are a gift; the investment now is worth it. Great relationships with them are the icing on the cake.
Values that shape family, faith, and character – what do you wish to impart to your children? It helps to consider where these principles can take our children in the future. Do you foresee adults who have common sense, treat others kindly, and make positive contributions to society? Aim to model and encourage these traits. Be encouraged; much of this is organic, as it flows out of what we believe and how we live each day.
Skills range from learning ABC’s to higher math and beyond. We get tangled in the intricacies of a curriculum, swamped by the volume of all the things they must learn from K-12. How do we focus on the right stuff? Think bottom line – which skills will equip them for future learning?
My bottom line included reading, writing, critical thinking, and key math skills. In reality, it’s impossible to cover everything, so this was my way of preparing them for the future. If a student can read, they can fill in gaps and educate themselves, whether out of interest or necessity. When equipped with essential tools for lifetime learning, our homeschool grads will always have an advantage.
So tell me, what would your list look like? What building blocks do you want your children to carry into adulthood? Don’t let the big picture dishearten you; rather, let it encourage you, particularly on frustrating or seemingly unproductive days. Why not use the ten year mindset to help clear out the clutter and clarify what really matters?
A quick postscript about that young man I was tutoring. It’s nearly ten years later; he’s polite, kind, and smarter than ever.
Karen Lange homeschooled her three children in grades K-12. She is a freelance writer and blogger.
